introduction to Hilrithmatic

    Introduction to Hilrithmatic POLS 400

    Course description:  Hilrithmatic (I officially claim credit in coining Hilrithmatic unless someone can prove it was created by them before today) is a very complicated subset of mathematics, more unrealistic than Huckamath, and with a stranger name than Obamath. To understand the twin aspects of Hilrithmatic requires an ability to suspend belief, logic and clear thinking.  Those without the ability to see all ten sides of a square should drop out of this course now and get a full refund.

Required materials:  

TI-83 calculator  
A loose record of accounting
My Life by Bill Clinton
It takes a Village
Living History by Hillary Clinton
The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli
Making crime pay, the Lori Beth Denburg way.
A south park "you will respect my Authori-tay" t-shirt.
2+2=5?  It can, If you REALLY want it to.

Schedule:

The first half of the semester will be dealt with the primary aspect of Hilrithmatic, counting what isn't there.  Hilrithmatic is based on the idea that 1500>1630.  While this is not mathematically correct, it is Hilrithmatically correct, because it is the conclusion Hillary wants.  Covered in this part of the course is which states count, and which are irrelevant wastes of space occupied by hippies, elitists, "proud African Americans" caucuses, leftists, rightists, and people who don't need a president.  If it helps your studying, the answer is that the states Hillary wins are those that count.  We will also cover how Obama's pledged delegates are not really pledged while hers are, and why the super delegates should overturn the will of the people.  

The second half will deal with the transitive property, an important aspect of Hilrithmatic.  The transitive property of Hilrithmatic states that everything any Clinton does is immediately transferred to Hillary, unless it is something bad.  Bill Clinton was a good president, thus Hillary is too.  Many people growing up in the nineties had a crush on Chelsea, so they also have a crush on Hillary.  Socks is a very nice and clean cat, and so is Hillary.  Anything bad that a Clinton does (even if it's Hillary) is not her fault, it's someone else's.  Her healthcare plan failed, it was bills fault.  People don't like her, it's a vast right... left... middle?  Conspiracy.  

Cheating Policy:

If anyone is caught cheating on their exams they will receive a zero, unless their names start with an "M" or an "F."  In this case the students will either be given the scores they first received, or will be allowed to take the exam again.  They will also be given extra time and resources in order to make sure that the teacher (me) looks good by you getting high scores.  I will not be helping anyone who is not in my class, and can help me look good in any way shape or form.  

Hilrithmatic is a very difficult subject to understand and takes years to fully master, but has innumerable benefits.  The ability to ignore reality and take what you want because you believe it's owed to you will get you many places in life.  But have a nice Anglo-Saxon name, or you may find yourself in jail.  



Display:


Re: introduction to Hilrithmatic (none / 0)

I'm startin' to see why that word "bitter" came out of Obama's mouth. It seems you've much written off any chance of Obama winning. The contest is still wide open, y'know.

Geez.


by Little Otter on Mon Apr 14, 2008 at 08:27:43 PM EST

Re: introduction to Hilrithmatic (none / 0)

Open, yes.  Wide, no.


Unseen, in the background, Fate was quietly slipping the lead into the boxing glove.
by fogiv on Mon Apr 14, 2008 at 09:14:04 PM EST
[ Parent ]

DNC MATH (2.00 / 1)

D = DO

N = NOT

C = COUNT

Get ready boys and girls for your new DNC math test.  If you live in MI or FL and voted for President in our primary - well, that won't count.

However, if you live OUTSIDE the U.S. and vote in our primary - well that DOES count, even though it doesn't count in a general election.

If you live in Texas and voted in our primary, that will count 70%. In order to get the other 30% you have to vote again, only this vote actually counts more because more delegates are given.

If you voted in Washington state at the caucus you can add up all the delegates that will count. But even though more of you voted in the primary, well, no delegates were awarded there.

If you vote in a "red state" that held a caucus, like Alaska, your delegate vote counts three times as much as those that voted in California in a primary election. Their delegate votes count the least.

So when you add it all up - what do you have?

Who knows - as long as Barack Obama is the winner, then the DNC math works.


by nikkid on Mon Apr 14, 2008 at 08:43:51 PM EST

Re: DNC MATH (none / 0)

This has gotta be one of the most bitter replies that I have read.

Why won't you respect the RULES?  You know, the ones that previous candidates had to follow when they ran for the Democratic Party's Presidential nomination?

Why should Clinton get the benefit of an ever changing target?  She knew and supported the DNC decision that MI and FL wouldn't count.  Check out the facts, they are well documented.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULxxBz-PA jg

Texas has a 2 step contest.  This was known to all candidates BEFORE the contest began.  So were the RULES in Washington State, as were those in Alaska and California.

The RULES didn't change while the contest was underway.  No, not at all. But that is what your candidate feels that she is entitled to.  And here you are buying into her perverse logic that the RULES should be interpreted as she requires to win a contest that she has lost.

How is this unfair to the poor little girl who learned how to shoot in Scranton?


PUMA plants.
by jv on Tue Apr 15, 2008 at 12:15:16 AM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: introduction to Geography (2.00 / 1)

There are 50 states in the USA.

View it as a math lesson
view it as a counting lesson
View it as a geography lesson

48+2=50

Count all the states
Count all the votes

Don't give Obama delegates in any states where he didn't get any votes.

And then count the pledged delegates.

Hillary is in great position to win it all.  Florida gives her +37.  Michigan gives her +127.

She is currently maybe behind 30 pledged delegates.


by DTaylor on Mon Apr 14, 2008 at 08:52:51 PM EST

Re: introduction to Geography (none / 0)

I like this math the best....by my calculations - she will be the winner after PA!!!


by nikkid on Mon Apr 14, 2008 at 09:04:10 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: introduction to Geography (2.00 / 1)

Ooooh, let me go .... another key component to hilrithmatic is to take mathematic formulas that you agreed were correct before, and change them by arguing that they are undemocratic since they no longer favor you.


by reggie23 on Mon Apr 14, 2008 at 09:35:39 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: introduction to Hilrithmatic (none / 0)

Lame. Speaking as an Obama supporter, even. Let's have discussions about the race and save this stuff for McCain.


If you're being chased by an angry bull and then you notice you're also being chased by a swarm of bees, it doesn't really change things. Just keep on running.
by vcalzone on Mon Apr 14, 2008 at 09:58:10 PM EST


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